Bullying isn't just in the School Yard!
It has been a difficult couple of days for my family, so I thought this might be a good place to simply blow off some steam.
My family and I own a couple of small businesses in a small town in BC, Canada. We love the town and most of the people here are wonderful. However, there is a growing under-current of people moving in who don't care much for community or respect of others, but simply care about themselves and their need for drugs, alcohol and quick cash.
Sometime early Monday morning our Main store was broken into. The thieves smashed both our front doors, destroying the locking mechanism on the one and causing very expensive repairs to both. They stole a few munchies, a very small amount of cash and left out the back door leaving it wide open. The temperature was between -12 & -14 C, which cooled our store down, over working the heaters, and costing a fortune in hydro which is already very expensive for the store, and two days later it still hasn't warmed up inside.
The hurt and the frustration it has caused my family has been severe, not to mention the extra expenses now added to our tightest months of the year. We've also seen an increase in shop lifting and heard several other local businesses complain about it as well.
My wife and I have always done our best to help those in need and to give whenever we can to make sure others don't go without, simply because we understand as we were there not too many years ago ourselves. I wish that these people who broke into our store were the kind that would simply ask for some money, because we would have gladly helped them out. Instead they smash our doors for a few dollars and munchies, costing us a fortune in repairs.
The toll this takes on us as a family is very great, because it makes us distrust many of the customers that come into our stores and wonder if they were the ones who robbed us, plus will they do it again. We also feel more distrustful towards anyone who even slightly looks like they might try to shop lift, because we don't want to lose anything more or be hurt again, and it even carriers over to people we know. We are constantly on guard, edgy and just worried as to what will happen next.
What makes it worse is since moving to this small community, this is the third time our store has been broken into, all for minor things. Yet, our previous town where we had the business for five years, we were never vandalized or robbed, not even once.
We know there are people who know who did this to us within our community, but no one wants to speak up or fight back because of fear that something might happen to them as well. So the vandalism, break-ins, shop-lifting's and worse will continue.
Today we celebrate Anti-bullying Day in Canada and I thought how ironic it is that we are teaching our kids to stand up against bullying, prejudices and those who make us live in fear, and these are the same feelings my family and I are experiencing after someone shop lifts from us and each time we are robbed like this.
Theft, shop-lifting, vandalism, break and entering are all forms of bullying because it leaves those who lose their stuff or pay for damages, feeling hurt, beaten down, betrayed and in fear. I think we need to also teach our children and others that these types of crimes are bullying as well and they also need to end.
More than half of the shop-lifting in our store is done by teens and children who feel they somehow deserve to get what they want, simply because they want it. Some even have the money to pay for it, but simply don't feel they have to or just steal things for sport, because they can. This attitude seems to be carrying forward into their adulthood where many of the adults who steal from us believe that they somehow deserve it because they don't have the money and we are obviously rich enough because we have a business, so why should it matter to us. I wonder how they would feel if I went to their house and took the same attitude and liberties with their stuff. But I guess that's the real difference now isn't it, I have too much respect for other people and their stuff than to steal from them, hurt them, make them live in fear or cause them that kind of pain.
Perhaps the answer to all this bullying within our society is to start teaching children at a young age how to respect others, their beliefs and their belongings; and by teaching our children what respect is and showing it to them as well, they may grow up showing and sharing that respect with all those around them. In addition, if we are actively involved with our children and hold them accountable, in appropriate ways, when the show disrespect, steal or bully others, instead of justifying their behavior or blaming other peoples children while turning a blind-eye towards our own, maybe they will learn that these behaviors are wrong and in-excusable.
These forms of teachings have worked with our two sons, and we have an entire community that feels the same way about them. I wonder how many other parents can confidently say the same things about their children, because the more who can means we have a greater hope for where our society is headed. Of course learning how to teach children to respect others also means we as adults have to set the proper example first and learn how to respect others too.
So with today being Anti-bullying day I encourage parents to spend time talking with their children about what true respect means. I encourage adults and children alike to consider how respectful their words and actions are towards others from all walks of life. And, maybe instead of living in fear of being bullied we can teach those who bully how to have respect for others and maybe even themselves.
After this last break-in to our store I know my family has had enough with being bullied in this town by those who show no respect for our property or what we have done in this community. Our hope is that something will change here soon and people will stand up against the bullying and crime increasing in our town, but the other option open to us to stop from being bullied anymore and to protect our family, is to leave to somewhere else where we can feel safe once more.
Just another thought I had.
