What Lying Actually Does to Your Brain and Body Every Day

What Lying Actually Does to Your Brain

 and Body Every Day

 Adam Dachis

Each day, we make the same choice hundreds of times: whether to lie or tell the truth. It often happens without thinking, and we ignore the profound impact of these seemingly inconsequential decisions. Even the smallest lies can cost you money, impact your relationships, and affect your choices. Conversely, honesty offers many surprising psychological benefits. Here's how truth and lies affect your brain and your life every day.

Little Lies Can Cost You Money

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You're out at a restaurant and your server comes by to ask you how you like your food. You say everything's great. The food is okay, but you don't want to be rude so you lie. It may not seem like a big deal, but when the check comes you'll be overly generous with your tip. This is one example of how white lies actually affect your behavior. Psychologist Guy Winch, writing for Psychology Today, explains:

[Researches Argo and Shiv] found that 85% of diners in restaurants admitted to telling white lies when their dining experiences were unsatisfactory (i.e., claiming all was well when it wasn't). However the real interesting finding was that diners who told white lies to cover up their dissatisfactions were then likely to leave bigger tips than those who did not. Why would diners who were less satisfied with their meals and who lied to their server about it leave an even bigger tip as a result? The researchers propose that cognitive dissonance was at play.

Conigitive dissonance describes the discomfort you feel when holding two (or more) conflicting thoughts, and it shows up a lot when you lie. In another study by Argo and Shiv, University students received a short list of words with which to form sentences. Some participants received lists containing basic words that had no real meaning behind them, but others received lists of words related to honesty. Then, the research assistant purposefully left the participants in the room with nothing to do for about 12 minutes just to annoy them. Upon returning, she asked some students how they felt. Most said "fine," which was obviously a lie because they were clearly annoyed.

After this initial test, the researchers invited the participants to a second study with a raffle prize of $100. They also asked the participants if they'd like to donate a portion of their winnings back to the study. Anyone primed to think about honesty and told a white lie in the first experiment offered up more than half their money (on average). Everyone else opted to donate about one third of their potential raffle winnings. Again, cognitive dissonance reared its head when the conflict of lying came to mind.

We ignore white lies because they seem harmless. They rarely resurface in conversation, but while their future effects are subtle they do exist in profound ways. As a result, it's necessary to look at the long term effects of our actions even when the consequences seem benign or even non-existent.

Lies Tax Your Brain, Cause Stress, and Harm Your Body

Lying requires a lot of effort. When you tell the truth, you simply remember what happens. When you lie you have to consider what you're trying to hide, figure out a believable version of the opposite, give a convincing performance to sell that lie, and then remember it for the rest of eternity so you never get caught. Even if you're pretending to love your grandmother's disgusting fruitcake, that's a lot of pressure. Furthermore, it builds and builds every time you lie. (And you all do, even if you don't think so.) According to deception expertPamela Meyer, the average person lies three times within the first minute of meeting a stranger and between 10 and 200 times per day. We handle this constant lying well considering how remarkably often it occurs, but that's especially easy to do when we have an easy time ignoring the consequences.

Lies, just like many other things, cause stress and anxiety. If you need proof, consider thepolygraph machine (what's come to be known as the "lie detector"). They don't actually detect lies, specifically, but rather the signs of stress that accompany telling them. While stress isn't a definitive indicator of lying, it's often a good clue. Author David Ropeik points to a study that found additional evidence:

Anita Kelly and LiJuan Wang of Notre Dame recruited a group of 110 people from 18 to 71 years old, and told them that once a week for ten weeks they'd have to come in and, in a lie detector machine, report how many times in the previous week they had lied. But the group was divided in half. 55 of them got explicit instructions in how to avoid lying. (They could avoid telling the truth, or not answer, just not out and out confabulate.) The other group got no instructions, just the request to come in once a week and tell the truth about how many times they had lied last week.

Everybody lied less. But the group that had gotten advice on how to avoid lying reduced their fabrications far more. And in questionnaires, those who had lied less reported better mental and physical health. They reported improvements in their relationships, less trouble sleeping, less tension, fewer headaches, and fewer sore throats.

You probably know thatstress harms your brain and body in several horrible ways. Since lying contributes to your stress level and you do it many, many times per day, you need to consider the impact of your secrets. The harm isn't self-evident, but it readily exists in the numerous health issues you encounter in your daily life.

Sometimes Honesty Is Not Always the Best Policy

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Life has no paradigms. Lying cause stress and other awful problems, but it's useful and even necessary at certain times. When lying assures your safety or honesty puts you in danger, you probably shouldn't choose the truth. Exceptions always exist, and regardless of our intentions we're not going become model truthtellers no matter how comfortable we feel. Generally speaking, honesty provides far more mental and physical health benefits than dishonesty. Nevertheless, we're complicated creatures. We make complicated decisions every day. We'll find reasons to lie that are necessary, but we'll naturally find more that aren't. Watch out for instances when you lie out of politeness and to preserve your own self-esteem. Think about the long-term effects and not how the lie will protect you, or someone else, in a particular moment. You can't always tell the truth, but the more you do the happier your brain and body will be.

RIP Canada

Do you think you have a good heart, a kind heart? Is Discipline necessary?

I was doing some reading today and came across this article, and it really grabbed my interest as it will demonstrate that we need guidance and discipline pretty much from the day we are born and should show why the world is the way it is. Discipline comes in many forms as does guidance and neither should be done maliciously but out of love, and this come from a book well over 2000 years old, there is a lot of good in this old book.  

Do you think you have a good heart, a kind heart? I thought my heart was okay until I read this startling passage in Jeremiah 17:19, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Another version says the heart is “beyond cure.” Wow, heavy words! Doesn't that prick your pride? Desperately sick? Hey, I have my off moments but I can’t be that bad.

But the more I read the Bible, the more I realize what the verse is saying. It is about the natural condition of our hearts. Take a look at little children. We don’t have to teach them to fight with their playmates, throw tantrums, break things, or grab toys from their little sister. But we have to teach them to behave, listen to daddy, give, forgive, be nice to other kids. Without discipline and instruction, we will have runaway brats and anarchy. It is in our nature to be selfish, proud, jealous, or angry. Look at the world. It is overrun by crime, lust, wars, corruption, and greed. It all begins in the human heart. Romans 3:23 says, “For all men have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Borrowed from the "How is your Heart Today?" reading plan 
and the Bible of course

Hearing God: Can you hear me now?

Hearing God: Can you hear me now?

Hearing God: Can you hear me now?

So many times you hear Christians say “I don’t know what God wants me to do” or “If I only could hear what God is saying” and such. It seems to be such a sticking point with so many, what did God say, what does He want, how can I do what I’m supposed to if I don’t know what that is? All those questions are about one thing.

Hearing God.

It is many times not the “doing” of God’s will that can be so frustrating for Christians (and here I mean REAL Christians who are on their walk of discipleship) but knowing how to follow Christ in the first place. Many times we seek the path, but don’t know which way to go. It makes it rather difficult, if we can’t hear, to avoid the pitfalls of “there is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death” (Proverbs 14:12 & 16:25 KJV).

It is so important NOT to following our own ways that God even said it twice in exactly the same word. God tells us things for a reason, I think we need to pay attention to what He is saying. As I always say we can’t do what we don’t know to do. In other words, we NEED to know what God is saying, and then obey. It is necessary to our walk of faith.

So this is all about “hearing” God. I am no expert, just another sojourner on the path home. But I believe if we can understand the principles of hearing God, then we can use them not only to following our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but that it will draw us closer to our God, and keep us in the living center of His will.

Or within the living center of His purpose, His power and His plan!

His purpose is to bring us home, just like the story of the Prodigal Son. His power is the strength He gives us to meet the challenges along the way, it is that which saves us, supports us and gives us the power of His might in our lives. And of course His plan for our lives, the destiny, the calling and the mantle He places on our lives that accomplishes all the aforementioned.

So like the phone commercial, God is saying to us “can you hear me now?” We need to be able to say back to Him, “yes Lord, I hear you!”

The Basics

“Be still, and know that I am God…” — Psalms 46:10(a)

“Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen” — Hebrews 13:21

What did you say?

Have you ever thought to yourself that you really don’t know what God wants you to do about this or that concern? Or perhaps you have spoken to a friend that says, “If I just knew what God wanted me to do I would do it”? In each of these incidents it is concluded that you just can’t “hear” God and what He is trying to say. That it is too difficult to get connected and know what God wants you to do.

Some even goes as far as to say that you can’t hear God anyway. Cessationalists, people who believe the gifts of God no longer operate today, will tell you that He doesn’t talk to us anymore at all, citing a function of the Holy Spirit that does not manifest in the present day, that that time has passed. Or that you can only follow what is in the Bible, as it is the only voice God has given us to listen to. These are the things many professing Christians truly believe, however, this is far from the truth.

We must always remember that God is the same today as He was in the past, or even will be in the future. God never changes. (Hebrews 13:8 ).

What actually keeps us from hearing God, besides our own unbelief, is that we are too busy with life to stop, be still, and know Him. A good starting point here is to know what know means. It is very interesting and enlightening study. The following definitions are taken from the OneLook Dictionary Search (accessible online athttp://www.onelook.com):

1. know; verb: be familiar or acquainted with a person or an object
2. know; verb: be cognizant or aware of a fact or a specific piece of information; possess knowledge or information about
3. know; verb: be aware of the truth of something; have a belief or faith in something; regard as true beyond any doubt
4. know; verb: have fixed in the mind
5. know; verb: have firsthand knowledge of states (state of being), situations, emotions, or sensations
6. know; verb: perceive as familiar
7. know; verb: be able to distinguish, recognize as being different
8. know; verb: know the nature or character of
9. know; verb: accept (someone) to be what is claimed or accept his power and authority

Let’s take a look at each of these nine aspects of what it means to “know” someone or something. In this case to understand how to know God, and what we should do so that we will know Him. We will then begin to get an understanding of how to hear God and to be guided by Him in our lives. In other words, how we can effectively build a dynamic, and interactive, relationship with God.

This is important in our walk of discipleship, because we are called to be disciples in Christ. In Luke 9:23 it states: “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me…” (KJV). How are we to follow Christ if we do not know where He is going? Yes, we have the Bible and it tells us the principles, tenets and the details of our faith and how to follow.

First, it is vital to our walk of faith to know what is within it’s pages. But our relationship with God, once established, is also a dynamic, living connection with Him and He speaks to us through it. He guides us, correct us, supports us, and of course, answers our prayers. So we need to be able to hear Him, and obey.

When a person disciples themselves to something, they must understand it, live it and make adjustments along the way to accomplish it, no matter what it is. Like a master of any endeavor they start out as a novice, then an apprentice, then a journeyman and finally a master. Their tutelage is to a master of the craft, and in following him they learn their way about and deepen their understanding, until one day they too are a master in their own right.

And this is expected of us in our disciplining to Christ (Roman 8:29).

Let’s get acquainted

(1. know; verb: Be familiar or acquainted with a person or object)

“In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” — John 7:37&38

“And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.” — John 6:35

First we must know that God exists and that He can, and does, function in our lives. In other words, we must first be followers of God and the Lord Jesus Christ in order for us to have a relationship with the same. How can we have a dynamic communication with someone that we don’t even believe exists or are familiar with in the first place? So we must then know that God is there, and be acquainted with who and what He is. This, of course, is the first step we must take.

To understand WHO is God.

We are not here to explore and discuss Salvation and becoming a Christian. This is for those who are already Christian, and are seeking a more real relationship with Him. Where there is no separation and where they can hear His voice and know His will. And again, to establish a dynamic relationship between us and God. And when I say God, in this sense I am speaking of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The triune God of our faith, and with whom we have a divine heritage through Christ Jesus.

This of course is a function of belief. Faith follows as we exercise our belief in God. We become acquainted with the personage of God, and just as importantly, we establish a relationship with Him. Any time we pray, we are establishing and exercising our relationship to God. Any time we study the Word of God, we are establishing and exercising our relationship to God. And there more examples, but the underlying truth is that when we seek God, in prayer, in study, in worship and so on, we will find Him.

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” — Matthew 7:7&8

So what really happens when we find God? We, in that moment, establish a link to Him, a moment in time when we have a relationship with Him. And in that moment we know Him, can communicate with Him, and more importantly, He can communicate with us. The question is “can you hear Him?”

So what we have so far:

1. We must know that God exists and that He functions in our lives

But do I really know you?

(2. know; verb: be cognizant or aware of a fact or a specific piece of information; possess knowledge or information about)

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” — II Timothy 2:15

Now that we know of God’s existence, we must understand what God is all about, how He does things, and what He expects of us. There is only one way to get that information, and that is through research and study. We can’t do things that we are supposed to do if we don’t understand what those things are. We are held to a different standard under Grace, however, the law still has the effect of judging sin when we are not living by Grace. So we must understand what this living under Grace is all about, otherwise we are judged under the law (Roman 6).

And all mankind falls short of the glory of God.

Remember that it is the Word of God that gives us the power to understand how to live life. II Timothy 3:16 states, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:” Our purpose, when we are truly Christian, is to live a life of righteousness that we may gain an holy reward and be with our God eternally. It is why we are walking this walk of faith.

So if we don’t know what faith is, what Grace is, what God expects and what His laws, promises and unctions are and do, or have affect in our lives; then how can we apply them in our lives? We aren’t able to, so therefore we must understand them in order to live by them.

This takes study.

So we see that in order to hear God, we must understand these things and how they apply to our lives. We must also understand how to apply them IN our lives. We must seek understanding, not of manmade doctrines, or the “isms” of the world, but in what God, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the men and women of God (being divinely inspired and moved) actually said. We must discard the filters of men, and how they perceive the things of God, and perceive for ourselves.

So we see the need to be responsible for our own faith. We are the only ones that can deepen it, widen it, and apply to our lives. We are the only ones that can establish a real and dynamic relationship with God, our father, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and our beloved Holy Spirit. We are family, and we can not interact and live with our family through the minds and actions of others. WE must establish and live within our familial ties with God.

We are God’s kids.
So we must learn what it means to be God’s kid. We must have the information and understanding of it, then live it. It is expected, it is part of our son/daughtership in Christ and it is the adoption to our God (Romans 8:11-17).

1. We must know that God exists and that He functions in our lives
2. We must understand the principles of our faith and God’s truth

I believe in you

(3. know; verb: Be aware of the truth of something; have a belief or faith in something; regard as true beyond any doubt)

“Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.”
— Matthew 21:21

The second step is that we must have faith in God. In order to have faith in God we must first believe in what God is all about. This of course leads us directly to Christ, in whom we must place our trust. Trusting Christ is an act of belief and faith. First that we believe in what He teaches, and then having faith that what is taught is the truth, that it has the power to effect change in our lives for the better. That the heavenly goal is real and tangible — without doubting the truth of it.

Believing in essence means “being” and “living”. Being a Christian means that we know the truth, it is part of who we are. Living as a Christian mean the we live those truths daily, constantly and consistently, again as disciples of Christ. Christianity is not just something that you do (living it) but also WHOSE you are (being). So this dynamic believing is truth of our walk of faith. It is not only the what, the who and the why, but the how of our faith as well.

Faith extends from this, as you don’t place your faith in something that you do not believe in. That would be foolishness. But we must understand what we believe in first. We then can take that and make real and alive in our lives.

We can live it.

This is the walk of Christianity for this is our walk of faith, and this is what faith is. In this we build an awareness and regard for the truth, without doubt because we now are beginning to know that God is real and seeing Him act in our lives. We believe in Him, the truths He teaches, and have faith in Christ Jesus, and trust that in doing so, will place the power of God in our lives to effect dynamic change.

We are that much closer to hearing God.

1. We must know that God exists and that He functions in our lives
2. We must understand the principles of our faith and God’s truth
3. We must have faith in His truth and believe without any doubts

Heaven on my mind

(4. know; verb: Have fixed in the mind)

“The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.” — Matthew 6:22

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” — Isaiah 26:3

Here we understand that we must constantly be aware of our relationship that we are building with God. This is accomplished by setting our minds on godly or heavenly things. Too often we are consumed with our own lives, in other words, we are NOT still-ing our world in order to focus on God. Work, family, and other concerns fill our lives so fully that we lose sight of our connection with God. It is important to note that the very quality of those concerns, is firmly founded on our connection with God and how He does or does not interact in our lives.

In other words, if we are focused on other than God, then how can we put God into those things? What we are focused on is what we will reflect in our lives. We focus on lack, then we will only see and react to those things lacking in our lives. This will make our lives bleak and lifeless. But if we focus on the abundance in our lives, we will have a life abundant and overflowing. This makes life vibrant and joyous.

Just think if we are focused on God what our lives would be like!

So it is important to be mindful of not only our connection with God, but how it impacts and interacts in our daily lives and to apply our relationship with Him to our other relationships that we have in life. In other words, change our focus.

We don’t have life and then add God, we have God which adds quality to our lives. So, this is how we draw closer to Him, in that we place His will in the living center of our existence and effect powerful and lasting change in our lives. It becomes a living and dynamic focus of our lives. It is when we leave God out of the equation that we lose our ability to connect with Him and hear His voice.

It is in following these steps to know God that we firmly connect ourselves to Him and begin to understand His purpose, power and plan for our lives.

1. We must know that God exists and that He functions in our lives
2. We must understand the principles of our faith and God’s truth
3. We must have faith in His truth and believe without any doubts
4. We must place God in the center of our lives

By Jonathan Payne: http://theenochcovenant.com

The Stranger!

The Stranger!

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche.
My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The
stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet.
(I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home - not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our long time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my
ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol but the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first.Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over
in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?....

 

We just call him 'TV.'


  P.S. He has a wife now....we call her 'Computer.'

Their first child is "Cell Phone".
Second child "iPod”

And JUST BORN LAST YEAR WAS a Grandchild:

iPad

Visualise a point in time

Just IMAGINE ...
Visualise a point in time in which you are living a dream you have
Now IMAGINE that moment in time as happening RIGHT NOW
Engage your senses as you experience this moment RIGHT NOW
Imagine being there

What do you see?
Imagine the sounds
What do you hear?
What do you smell?
Imagine the taste &
Imagine the touch

As you focus on this dream

Paint a picture of this moment in time as if it were happening RIGHT NOW before your very eyes

Capture the feeling in your throat & in your heart.
What feelings surface in this moment of conscious awareness?
Make this like a mantra
Play & see it in your mind's eye whenever you meditate.
~Enza Currenti

9 Beliefs of Highly Ineffective People

POST WRITTEN BY: ANGEL

9 Beliefs of Highly Ineffective People

It is nearly impossible for anyone, even the most ineffective among us, to continue to choose a life of tedious grief after becoming fully enlightened to the fact that ineffectiveness is a choice.  It is the direct outcome of unproductive beliefs and behaviors.

So here’s a quick reminder – nine things to stop believing:

An extra reminder: We just released our new ebook 1,000+ Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently. It makes a perfect starter kit for the new year. Click here to find out more.

1.  “I don’t know what I want.”

Never let what other people expect from you dictate what you expect from yourself.  Figure out what you want.  Clarity about your true desires is so liberating because you get to stop proving yourself to everyone, including yourself.

When you get real about the true feelings you crave, you end up surprising yourself with an abundance of new opportunities and possibilities.  ReadAwaken the Giant Within.

2.  “I can deal with it all later.”

Without a plan you’re going to stay where you are.  It’s time to figure it out.  It’stime to make a move.

You will not be judged by what you say; you will be judged by what you do. Wake up each morning determined, so you can go to bed satisfied.  Have the courage and discipline today to do what is needed instead of simply what is convenient.

3.  “That’s too much work.”

Life is not always easy.  Wishing for a situation to be easier without taking action usually just makes it more difficult.  The most effective way to handle what must be done is to do it.

The time-tested strategy for making life truly easier is to work through each challenge as it arises, persistently following through to the best of your ability.  Use each challenge as an opportunity to create value and make a difference, and you’ll eventually get to wherever it is you hope to go.

4.  “I don’t have the strength.”

Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them.  You will find that they don’t have half the strength you think they have.

The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.  Even when you give it your best shot and you miss, it’s not a failure.  Instead, it’s just another opportunity to step up to the plate and do it better next time.  You are stronger than you think.  Don’t give up.  Read As a Man Thinketh.

5.  “My relationship with someone else will solve my problems.”

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.  If you’re not comfortable enough with yourself or with your own truth when entering a relationship, then you’re not ready for that relationship.  Because you are incapable of loving another unless you love yourself, just as you are incapable of teaching someone else something unless you yourself understand it.

6.  “I will never forgive!”

You have to forgive.

You don’t have to like them, you don’t have to be friends with them, you don’t have to spend time with them ever again, but you have to forgive them, to let go, to let it rest, to let bygones be bygones.  Because if you don’t, you are choosing to tie boulders to your ankles, which are way too heavy for your growing wings to carry.

7.  “New paths and experiences are too risky.”

Have the willingness to feel the fear and do it anyway.  It’s not the future that you need to be afraid of; it’s repeating the past that threatens your growth.  Wouldn’t you rather attempt to do something great and learn a lesson, than attempt to do nothing and learn nothing for the rest of your life?  ReadAuthentic Happiness.

8.  “Starting over is not for me, no matter the circumstances.”

There comes a point in your life when you realize that nothing will ever be the same, and you realize that from now on, time will be divided in two parts:  before this and after this.

But that’s okay.  There’s no shame in starting over again, for you get a chance to rebuild things bigger and better than they ever were before, or reinvent yourself and do something you’ve always wanted to do.

9.  “My unhappiness now will create happiness in my future.”

Maybe you think you’re entitled to more happiness in the future by forgoing all of it now, but it doesn’t work that way.  Being happy takes as much practice as being unhappy.  It’s by living with a smile that you smile more.  By waiting you wait more.  Every waiting day makes your lifetime as a whole a little less happy.

To be happy is to truly live.  Every day you put off your life makes you less capable of living it to the fullest.

9 Surefire Ways to Get What You Want

POST WRITTEN BY: MARC

9 Surefire Ways to Get What You Want

In life, you don’t get what you want, you get what you work for.

Here are some ideas for making it happen:

Reminder: We just released our new ebook 1,000+ Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently. It makes a perfect starter kit for the new year. Click here to find out more.

1.  Every morning ask:  “Is this what I want for myself?”

Whenever the answer has been “no” for too many mornings in a row, you know it’s time to make a change.  If you follow this principle a lot of life’s big decisions are actually pretty simple.

Long-term happiness is the settling of your soul into its most appropriate spot.  This spot contains the ideas, passions, people, and places that move you.

Accept responsibility for making these things possible in your life.  Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.  Be honest with yourself.  If you catch yourself following the crowd on automatic pilot simply because it’s the easiest option, it’s time to pause and reflect.  Read Quitter.

2.  Turn your dream into actionable steps and execute.

Action breeds results.  Slice your big-picture dream into a set of small goals andmeet them.

Execute, execute, execute.  You are responsible for getting things done.  It always comes down to your actions.  You choose: either action and results or inaction and excuses.  You can’t have both.

The pain of discipline is far less than the pain of regret.  Do what you have to do – 100% of it.  No one has ever given a dream their best shot and regretted it.

3.  Take a few small steps every single day.

Don’t build mountains in your mind.  Don’t try to conquer it all at once.  Take everything in stride, one step at a time.

When you seek instant gratification you make life unnecessarily painful and frustrating.  When you choose instead to treat each moment as an opportunity to make a small, positive, long-term investment in your future, the rewards come naturally.

Although each individual effort may seem to have no effect when you make it, at some point you’ll look back and realize the momentous impact your efforts created once they were added together.  By moving at this sustainable pace, you’ll be able to continue moving forward for as long as it takes to get precisely where you want to go.

4.  Exercise rock solid self-control.

Your ability to restrain an impulse by cross-referencing your moral values and goals creates the essence of your long-term happiness and success.

You are never going to get what you want until you learn how to do what’s right even when it feels wrong.  Every time you do what’s right by a decision of your will using discipline and self control to go beyond momentary feelings of weakness, you get that much closer to what you want.

5.  Practice until you’re an expert, and keep practicing.

In all walks of life, achieving greatness is a choice.  Practice makes it possible.  You are what you practice most.

Whatever you decide to do, do it well.  Do it so well that when others see you do it, they enjoy it so much that they want to come back and see you do it again, and they also want to bring their friends along so they can show them how incredible you are at doing what you do.  Read The Success Principles.

6.  Mind your thoughts and your words.

Understand the power of your thoughts, and guard them more closely.  Understand the power of your words, and prefer silence to anything negative.  Through your thoughts and words you create your own weaknesses and strengths.  Your limitations begin in your mind where you can always replace negative with positive.

So stop worrying about negative scenarios that are merely figments of your imagination.  Allow your thoughts to encourage you rather than hinder you.  Focus on the moment in front of you.  Free yourself to deal effectively and successfully with what is real and what is now.

7.  Surround yourself with people who lift you higher.

You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.  The great danger of being around negative people is that you start to become like them without even knowing it.

Relationships must be chosen wisely.  Bad company corrupts good morals and human potential.  There’s no need to rush into a relationship you are unsure of, or associate with those who hold you back.

8.  Give back.

The great Zig Ziglar once said, “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

For it is in giving that we receive.  In other words, what goes around comes around in this world.  As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our own way.  Read Better Than Good.

9.  Create balance.

Be diligent and committed to your work, but also make sure you leave time for pleasure and exploration.  It is not enough to succeed at one specific goal; you also have to take part in the different dimensions of your life – while you can, while there’s time.

Lift your head up from your work every now and then and take a long walk, hold hands with your beloved, go fishing, spend time with your friends, swim, bask in the sunlight, try something new, meditate, breathe deep, or sit quietly for a while and contemplate the goodness around you.

In other words, balance yourself – work diligently, but don’t ignore every other aspect of your life.  Keep your mind fresh, your body active and alive, and your relationships nurtured.  Do so, and the things you want most in life will come more naturally.

Top 10 tips for making lists

• By Richard Branson -
• Jan 03, 2013

I have always lived my life by making lists. These vary from lists of people to call, lists of ideas, lists of companies to set up, lists of people who can make things happen. I also have lists of topics to blog about, lists of tweets to send, and lists of upcoming plans.

Each day I work through these lists, and it is by ticking off each task that my ideas take shape and plans move forward. As the new year gets started, lots of you will be busy making resolutions. If you want to stick to them, I suggest making them into lists. Here are my top 10 tips for making lists:

1. 1.    Write down every single idea you have, no matter how big or small
2. 2.   Always carry a notebook
3. 3.   Find a list method that works for you. Doodles, bullet-points, charts – what suits    you best?
4. 4.   Make a list of small, manageable tasks to complete every day
5. 5.   Mark off every completed task – you’ll find making each tick very satisfying
6. 6.   Make your goals measurable so you know if your plans are working
7. 7.  Set far off, outlandish goals. What do you want to have achieved by 2020? How about 2050?
8. 8.  Include personal goals in your lists, not just business
9. 9.  Share your goals with others. You can help motivate each other further
10. 10. Celebrate your successes – then make new lists of new goal

By Richard Branson. Founder of Virgin Group