Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The 7 Basic Needs of a Wife

The 7 Basic Needs of a Wife

By Amy Shearn, REDBOOK
The blogosphere's been buzzing lately about Michelle Duggar and her retrograde, submission-heavy "Seven Basic Needs of a Husband." I admit her advice was making me squirm, but then I started thinking: Wait, what about my basic needs? I mean, I kind of think my family's needs are pretty well-considered these days-but as the decorative potholder says, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Thus, I present you with the Seven Basic Needs of a Wife.
1. A wife needs a husband who respects her as a woman. This means never, ever saying things like "Is it PMS?," "You bought another sundress?," or "When you're done brea-advice/hair/best-celebrity-hairstylesstfeeding the baby, can I have a turn?"
2. A wife needs a husband who believes in and respects her god-given responsibilities. After all, Mad Men is not going to pour a glass of wine and watch itself.
3. A wife needs a husband who will continue to find her beautiful no matter how long she wears her stretched-out yoga pants and maternity shirts without washing them. Little House on the Prairie-style flannel pjs should be greeted thusly: "You look so hot when you're comfy!"
4. A wife needs quality time to be alone with herself and, if applicable, the Lord. (See #2.)
5. A wife needs a husband who can lovingly appeal to her when she is going beyond her limitations, which happens pretty much all the time for any wife and mother. Therefore, each night, husbands should do the dishes, put the kids to bed, draw a hot bath for said wives, and not speak until spoken to, at which point they are free to share witty jokes or any praise they might have for their wives.
6. A wife needs a husband who is grateful for all she does for him. In practice this means a constant stream of praise, adoration, gifts of flowers, and an hourly recital of the sentence, "How do you do it all?!" But you have to say it like you mean it, or it doesn't count.
7. A wife needs a husband who will praised by her friends for being so much better than their husbands, in the case that these other friends have somehow not received these instructions.
Husbands and wives everywhere: You are welcome.
Amy Shearn is the mother of two small children, and is the proprietress of Household Words, a blog about babies, books, and Brooklyn. She also writes for Oprah.com and MommyPoppins.com. Amy is the author of the novel How Far Is the Ocean From Here (Shaye Areheart/Crown 2008) and a forthcoming novel about, what else, a Brooklyn mother, which needs a title and will be published by Touchstone, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, in 2013.

Friday, February 24, 2012

40 Photo-Illustrated Questions to Refocus Your Mind

POST WRITTEN BY: MARC

40 Photo-Illustrated Questions to Refocus Your Mind


40 Photo-Illustrated Questions to Refocus Your Mind

Asking the right questions is the answer…

It’s not the answers you get from others that will help you, but the questions you ask of yourself.  Here are 40 thought-provoking questions to help you refresh and refocus your thinking:
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Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.  Also, check out our sister site, Thought Questions, for more photo-illustrated questions like these; and check out The Book of Questions if you’re interested in reading even more inspiring, thought-provoking questions.
Title photo by: Helga Weber

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

20 Ways to Speed Up Your Metabolism

20 Ways to Speed Up Your Metabolism

Whether you're trying to shed some lbs or just stay fit, these tricks to increase your metabolism from Heather Bauer, RD,CDN, will help you reach the finish line even faster.

1. Keep Hydrated
I'm sure the general population thinks dieticians sound like a broken record when it comes to the whole water thing, but it really is important. Drinking the recommended eight glasses of water a day will help your body function at peak performance levels.
2. Keep Calcium Levels Up Current obesity research shows that a dip in calcium levels can trigger the same hormone that causes the body to hold onto fat to be released. Choose low-fat dairy, cheese, yogurt,  salmon, tofu, and oatmeal.
3. Ditch the Drinks Happy hours and late night cocktails can do a number on your metabolism the next day. Research shows that the day after a night of drinking, there is a significant dip in your metabolic rate. Combine this with hangover cravings, and you've got a double disaster.
4. Eat Constantly Snacking does not have to be a bad thing. If your stomach is growling, it means that you need more fuel. Not providing your body with food is a surefire way to slow down its basic functions. Choose high-fiber, high-protein snacks like low-fat cheese, fiber crackers, fruits, veggies, or Greek yogurt. Starving your body will sabotage all of your dieting efforts.
5. Destress Yourself Stress raises the amount of cortisol in your body. Cortisol is a hormone that tells the body to hold onto fat in case of a stressful situation (think more natural disaster-level stress, not a bad day at work-level). Experiment with yoga or meditation as ways to lower stress levels and clear your mind.
6. Decrease Diet Soda Although it's low in calories and seems like an easy swap for high calorie beverages, diet soda may actually have adverse effects on your metabolism. Water and seltzer are better options, but if you must drink diet soda, limit your consumption to two cans (not Big Gulps!) per week.
7. Don't Forget Your ZZZ's Getting a least seven to eight hours of sleep every night is crucial to a healthy metabolism. Anything less can adversely affect your body's ability to burn calories. Surprisingly, excess sleep may do the same thing. It's best to keep a consistent bedtime and wake up close to the same time every morning
8. Soak Up the Sun Research shows that when a person spends long periods of time in a darkened, dull environment, it stimulates the same physiological functions in the body as gaining weight and sleep. The best daylight hours are between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m., so make it a point to get up from your desk and take a brisk walk outside. Aside from soaking up rays, you'll rev up your heart rate and benefit from the fresh air.
9. Work Out in the Cold Doing any type of cardio exercise in the cold can increase the ability of brown fat in the body to work at maximum capacity. Newly published research indicates that brown fat helps efficiently burn the white fat in your body, which is the considered that "bad fat."
10. Drink Kombucha Tea This tea, which is made from the Kombucha black mushroom, has racked up accolades in almost every health area-claims range from easing arthritis to detoxifying the liver. The detoxifying nature of this beverage may help your body function at an optimal level, which means a healthy metabolism.
11. Increase Weight-Bearing Exercises One pound of muscle burns 35 to 50 calories, while one pound of fat burns a measly 5 to 10 calories. Turning fat into muscle can increase your body's basal metabolic rate (BMR) by up to 40%. There's no need to hit the weights hard, either, simply using light weights at high repetition has been proven to tone muscle and burn fat
12. Up Your Vitamin C Vitamin C and calcium are partners in crime when it comes to your metabolic rate. Calcium speeds up metabolism, while vitamin C helps the body absorb this mineral, creating an overall win-win situation.
13. Vitamin B is Key Getting in all over your vitamin B, which you can do by incorporating small amounts of nuts, seeds, lean chicken, beef, and fish into your diet, helps maintain a healthy metabolism. Legumes are also a great source of B vitamins; plus they're chock-full of fiber.
14. Drink Green Tea he polyphenols, specifically EGCG, in green tea have properties that rev up your metabolic rate. However, green tea takes dedication. You have to drink about 4-5 cups a day to see results.
15. Avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup It's one of the most controversial issues in nutrition: Studies show that HFCS can make the body insulin-resistant. Also, when given the choice, the body stores fructose as fat before it does glucose.
16. Try Interval Training Aside from curing workout boredom, interval training allows you to burn more calories in less time. This is a great way for busy people with less time to get in a maximum workout.
17. Drink Ooling Tea Swap your second latte of the day with a fresh cup of oolong tea. Chinese medicine and celebrities alike tout the calorie boosting properties of this electrifying elixir.
18. Spicy Peppers Take your pick: Jalapenos, chili, cayenne, habanero, etc.. These fiery little guys contain capsaicin, which is why  you get a burning sensation in your mouth when you eat them. This same effect is created internally, causing a calorie burn for about 30 minutes afterward.
19. Go Ginger The latest craze is to add ginger shots to juice, but if you're not into juicing, it also pairs nicely with veggies in a stir-fry. In addition to aiding digestion, it can speed up the body's digestion process by as much as twenty percent.
20. Eat Oily Fish Fish such as tuna and salmon contain oil that increases leptin, which is a hormone responsible for controlling appetite.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

10 Good Reminders for Stressful Times

POST WRITTEN BY: MARC

10 Good Reminders for Stressful Times


10 Helpful Reminders for Stressful Times
“Fall seven times, stand up eight!”
Just a few things to think about when life delivers a dose of difficulty and stress…
  1. Happiness is never constant, and it’s not supposed to be. – You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.  To believe that you can reach a state of happiness and stay there forever, is like the tide believing she can reach for the shoreline and remain there forever; or like a fruit tree believing that if she only holds on tighter, she can keep her fruit from dropping to the ground.  Happiness is simply a series of moments that come and go and add sweetness to our lives.  Learn to accept this, and the more happy moments you will have.  Read The Happiness Project.
  2. Failures are temporary situations that teach us necessary lessons. – Life’s best lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.  So yes, you will fail sometimes.  The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  So get out there and try!  Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson.  Win – Win.
  3. Even if you can’t see it now, you are making progress. – You may not be where you want to be yet, but if you think about it, you’re no longer where you once were either.  You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward.  Not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you survived the bad ones, and taken small steps in the right direction.  So cry for a moment if you have to, and get it out of your system.  Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak; since birth, it has always been a sign that you’re alive and full of potential.  Once you’re done, keep going!  You’re undoubtedly getting closer to where you want to be.
  4. How you feel when you’re stressed is not a true measure of reality. – Just because you’re afraid, doesn’t mean you’re in danger.  Just because you feel alone, doesn’t mean nobody loves you.  Just because youthink you might fail, doesn’t mean you will.  Look beyond your doubts and keep searching for the truth.  Be aware of your mental self-talk.  We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  The sun is always shining on some part of your life.  Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.
  5. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. – You can learn great things from your failures and mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.  If you’ve been asking the same questions for months or even years, yet are still stuck, it’s probably not that you haven’t been given the answers, but that you don’t like the answers you were given.  It takes a lot of courage to admit that something needs to change, and a lot more courage still, to accept the responsibility for actually changing it.  The most important step forward is taking the first step.  The simple act of getting started and doing something will give you the momentum you need, and soon you’ll find yourself in a positive spiral of positive changes – one building on the other.
  6. You are not what happened to you in the past. – No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment.  Read The Power of Now.
  7. Not getting what you want can be a blessing. – Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of good luck, because it forces you reevaluate things, opening new doors to opportunities and information you would have otherwise overlooked.  Remember, some things in life fall apart so that better things can fall together.
  8. Being a ‘work in progress’ is a great state to be in. – Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress.  Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today; it means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share.  May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!
  9. Nobody else can do it for you. – Keep doing what you know in your heart is right for YOU.  Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words.  Live by choice, not by chance.  Make changes, not excuses.  Be motivated, not manipulated.  Work to excel, not compete.  Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else.  It’s your road, and yours alone.  Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
  10. Life is not easy, but it’s worth it. – If you expect it to be, you will perpetually disappoint yourself.  Achieving anything worthwhile in life takes effort.  So start every morning ready to run farther than you did yesterday and fight harder than you ever have before.  Above all, make sure you properly align your efforts with your goals.  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.